There are some highly unusual and challenging golf courses around the world which the avid golfer will want to play during his or her lifetime. Here are 8 of them:
- Saint Glooks. Scotland. This 18-hole course is nestled in the Southern Mole Hills, just west of the quaint village of Malarkey. It features quicksand traps and is completely astro-turfed. Players are invited to stop in at the clubhouse for a traditional meal of fried haggis sandwiches and a mug of mucked hootchy-kootchy. Tipping is optional, but you better do it if you want to see your clubs again.
- McGolfs. California. You can supersize your golf score without any hassles at this express course. Order a dozen golf ball nuggets with an assortment of dipping sauces, or try their new mocha-flavored mashie niblick. Ronald will be your caddy.
- Broken Kneecaps. New Jersey. They admit to 18 holes, but the FBI alleges at least 25 more suspicious depressions in the ground where Mafia kingpins may have dropped their last birdie. It is suggested you rent a bullet-proof vest in the pro shop before venturing out on the greens. Guido and Frankie will be your bodyguards . . . er, caddies.
- Lazy Links. Florida. For the mature senior citizen who has earned the right to take it easy. You not only get a golf cart for yourself, but one for your ball; you never have to hit it – just place it in the golf cart provided and an attendant will drive it to the next hole and drop it in for you.
- Ole and Lena’s One-Holer. Minnesota. Yah, sure. Da easiest course in da Midvest, you betcha! Dat one-holer in da backyard ain’t exactly what yew might tink. Yust drink a big glass of prune yuice before you get here, by golly. Yew can’t miss. Uff da!
- Happy Luck Course of Golf. Thailand. You get a foot massage at every hole. Coconuts have to be played where they lay. During the monsoon the water hazards increase slightly, so you’ll play all 18 holes from a raft. The caddies all wear sarongs, and if you can keep your eye on the ball you’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din.
- El Golfo Corso. Argentina. The Argentines love to play golf. Between revolutions you can find them out on the golf course day and night. It’s no problem if you don’t speak Spanish; you can learn the standard curse words in a matter of minutes when you foozle a shot.
- Cleek Cloisters. Italy. This course is frequented by the Pope and his entourage. Miraculously, he never gets anything but a holiness-in-one. When you play it you’ll want to do as the Romans do; instead of yelling “Fore!” you’ll holler “Fortissimo!” The sand traps and grassy bunkers are no problem, but look out for the marinara pits! Some impetuous golfers have gone into them and never returned. If your ball hits a tenor singing La Donna Mobile you will be penalized two strokes.
This hole in one is NOT brought to you by Carl’s Jr. They are in no way, shape or form connected with it.