Bullets or Ballots?

Adolph Hitler and Nazi marching in cartoon illustration by Willard Mullin

In Arizona, Maine – and in Oregon as well

Gun control proponents hope to cast a ballot spell.

I guess I must ask pardon for the use of that misnomer;

It’s gun SAFETY proponents (what a great PR-style homer!)


It’s David vs Goliath, with the N.R.A. contending

That in all PAC-fed races they will do most of the spending.

America will topple, the wise N.R.A. affirms,

If people who want guns are treated like they carry germs.


It’s sad to think that after so much violence in schools

The PEW report says people think of guns as useful tools.

I hope the ballot measures will succeed at all the polls

So crazies will stop using guns and shoot off their pie holes.

The Ferrets are Coming!


I am a little ferret and I like to slide through cracks

In older brownstone buildings and then plan savage attacks

On the population that so innocently thinks

We are harmless critters, and not homicidal finks.


We ferrets are so feral that we form into large gangs

That roam the city nightly wreaking havoc with our fangs.

We knock off banks and liquor stores, then divvy up the loot,

Then sneak back to our owners, who are never too astute.


We ain’t forgot Giuliani and the hurtful things he said;

We dug him up and played a game of soccer with his head.

And before we fly at you to rip out your pink throat,

Please remember we are NOT a weasel or a stoat!