Those Minnesota Winters . . .

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The Minnesota winter makes great heroes of us all;

Knowing we survived it gives us right to stand up tall.

The blast of arctic wind chill and the minus temp’ratures,

Along with lack of sunshine make us frostbite connoisseurs.

 

Working outside in the polar currents is a breeze.

(If you wear ten layers of thick flannel you’ll not freeze.)

Eat a hearty breakfast, drink hot choc’late by the quart,

And in the highest snowbanks you’ll play horseshoes, you’ll cavort!

 

We feel sorry for all those now stuck on tropic beaches,

Making do with coconuts and flimsy linen breeches.

It is almost shameful to be happy when outdoors,

Unless you are encased in puffy Gore-Tex under drawers.

 

The Theater of Seasons in Minnesota.

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In Minnesota, weather is the subject of debate

By ev’ryone who’s blessed (or cursed) to live within the state.

The downward trend of temp’rature is sure to cause alarm,

And cabin fever sends so many to the funny farm.

 

And then a summer cloudburst will bring moisture and a chance

That a quick tornado will blow off your linen pants!

The autumn leaves are gorgeous as they pile up on your lawn.

And in your rusty gutters they do multiply and spawn.

 

The reason I pass over spring is simple as can be;

In Minnesota it is merely rank mythology!

The ‘theater’ of seasons we enjoy sure takes its toll,

And ought to be relabeled in the French as ‘Grand Guignol’.