Nut Rage.


In my defense, your honor, I would like to reconcile

The truth behind my story, with the prosecutor’s guile.”

“It’s true I threw a tantrum when my nuts came in a bag,

And that I threatened all the staff to mutilate and scrag.”


“Consider, please, your honor, that my nails had just been done

And opening that bag of nuts would not have been much fun.”

“I only did what any woman does at insurrection;

I knew that this was not the time for quiet introspection.”


“I had to discipline the crew; recall them to their duty.

Otherwise they might insult our guests by being snooty.”

“I’m truly sorry if by chance I broke some obscure law;

And now if you’ll excuse me I am due back at the spa.”