Why Stephen Colbert Should Go.

He’s not funny, never was funny, and there is no temporal distortion that can MAKE him funny.
He dresses better than 90% of the American population; just who does he think he is?
He’s a cheap tipper; when waiters see him coming they file for bankruptcy.
He uses hand lotion.
He’s not American; he was born overseas, right next door to Obama.
Everyone else says he should go, and I agree with them!
A hundred unknown comedians could live on the income he makes; why won’t he give them the chance?
He won’t eat at a Roy Rogers franchise.
He has never answered a single one of my emails.
His fan mail is sent to Bangladesh, to be made into cellulose filling for Twinkies.
His distant ancestors were probably cannibals.
He’s too young to remember Richard Nixon.
He has WRITERS who make him sound brilliant, the big phony.
He’s never had acne or plantar fasciitis, so how can he know about the real world?
He doesn’t HAVE to wear glasses; he’s perfectly comfortable with contacts.
He once threw a perfectly good toothpick away.
He secretly idolizes The Blue Meanies.
He brushes his teeth too often.
He uses big words.

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