Hell Hath No Fury Like a Social Media Affair.

You're not alone anymore, Freakazoid!

When you break up with a boyfriend or a girlfriend, please beware

That they might use social media their grievances to air.

You may find that all those Snapchats that you thought had disappeared

Are circulating with the goal of getting you quite smeared.

 

Your job may be in jeopardy, your current flame near doused,

Your friends are much disgusted, and your parents want to joust.

Suddenly the whole world knows your intimate affections,

Some of which may int’rest the Department of Corrections.

 

My advice is wear a mask when on the internet.

Use a diff’rent voice and dye your hair a light brunette.

Social media today may bring us close together

But it can be a garrote as well as simple tether.

The Money Maven.

indian

I never met a dollar bill I didn’t like, but then

A dollar bill is easy, not at all like krone or yen.

If I had my druthers I would never venture out

To deal with fiscal policy or monetary drought.

 

But experts say that ev’ryone must be a money maven,

Responsible to guide themselves into a golden haven.

But I don’t have a green thumb when it comes to growing kale,

The kind you spend on autos or to send your kids to Yale.

 

I may be old and wise, but not a penny have I saved;

To me all stocks and bonds are inconceivably depraved.

I’ll stay an ignoramus when it comes to amortization.

Pauperism is my calling and my true vocation.

***************************************************

snarl

This financial blog is definitely NOT brought to you by America First Credit Union.  In fact,they won’t even let us use their logo here.

One-Party Rule.

Featured Image -- 2260

One-party rule in state legislatures

Seems to agree with most sanguine natures.

Power corrupts, Lord Acton admonished;

So why should this tendency leave us astonished?

 

A balance of power, while dandy in theory,

Makes politicians feel kinda leery.

Someone must lead, and someone must follow –

Subordinates always find this hard to swallow.

 

The only solution is govern by lot,

Letting each party have just a brief tot

Of ruling and then let the other one try

To undo the damage and be the fall guy.

*******************************************************************

Lord Acton
Lord Acton

Ode to Smith’s Bar.

drunkcow

Another bar and grill has bit the dust, I’m sad to say;

It had its boozy moment in the sun, and then away . . .

They say it stood for sixty years, a monument to vice;

Where virtue ambled in and staggered out none too precise.

 

The patrons were a potpourri of local color that

Might give you a Wall Street tip or puke into your hat.

You had to watch your wallet but if you’d the gift of gab

The bartender would offer an elasticized bar tab.

 

I don’t know why I’m teary for that godforsaken hole.

The floor was filth incarnate and the john as black as coal.

They corrupted youth and bled old age of all their ready cash.

I guess my memory can’t tell the treasure from the trash.

 

Third Quarter Economic Output.

He didn't know how to eat spaghetti.
An Economist. 

Economic output in third quarter companies

Expanded with a humble and a modest bit of ease.

While no one is exulting or has called for party hats

Perhaps the time has come to reconsider wearing spats.

 

Tis true the inequality of income grows much greater.

The middle class is teetering upon a gaping crater.

And homelessness has never been so savage or widespread.

But as Clement Moore had Santa show, there is nothing much to dread.

 

The Federal Reserve has stopped its bond purchasing spree –

And if it’s good enough for them then it is good enough for me!

I’ll take my EBT card to the nearest Dollar Store

And cash my unemployment check with them again once more.

***************************************************

hatch

This blog is most assuredly NOT brought to you by Senator Orrin Hatch’s office.  He and his staff want NOTHING to do with it.

Save the Salamanders!

hairpull

We gotta start protecting salamanders from infection;

We need a screening process for immediate detection

Of fungal guests that latch on to their salamander hosts

And turn them into desiccated pet shop-haunting ghosts.

 

The trouble is the salamander isn’t very cute

And often is depicted as some slimy crawling brute.

Nobody wants to donate to the cause of such a creature,

Unless you are a rather nerdy middle high school teacher.

 

Can we get Nicole Kidman to adopt one as a pet?

Or go to bed with Justin Bieber – even better yet!

If we can make ‘em sexy and politc’ly correct,

Fort Knox will barely hold all of the money we’ll collect!

************************************************************

kneaders

This biological blog is so not brought to you by Kneaders Bakery & Cafe.  They want nothing to do with salamanders.

The New York Times Posts Quarterly Loss!

slowburn

Oh my gosh, the New York Times did post a quarterly loss!

Let us man the lifeboats to save their ink-stained gloss!

They’re sinking in an ocean of red ink, I am afeard;

And what will their reporters do when once they’ve disappeared?

 

That waitress down at Denny’s who is wearing black high heels

Was once their correspondent for all mergers and big deals.

That guy who changed your oil while in a stylish pinstripe suit

Once traveled with the Yankees and with Jeter could get cute.

 

I’ve got a dollar-fifty I will gladly now subscribe

To succor each and ev’ry unemployed and hungry scribe.

We’ve got to help reporters, though it’s only a quick fix;

Otherwise they’re likely to go into politics!

******************************************************

whitecastle

This blog is emphatically NOT brought to you by White Castle.  They want nothing to do unempwith it.