The Defective Defector.

(Inspired by an article by Choe Sang-Hun)

The USA has always welcomed those with lurid tales.

Of torture for no reason in abominable jails.

Our jaded media wants blood and gore in ev’ry byte;

Paying beau coup bucks for all those ready to recite.

 

We want to be diverted from abuses here at home

Worse than anything they used back there in ancient Rome.

And so when some escapee from a prison camp abroad

Comes to us with wagging tongue we never call him ‘fraud’.

 

Encouraged by our appetite, the refugee may pander

To our lust for outrage with a lack of total candor.

Can you blame him for his ebullient exaggeration,

When we will ignore him if he uses moderation?

 

Advice on Marriage.

Marriage is a partnership that ought to last through time

As a noble friendship, not the scene of some dull crime.

Statistics and research point to a longer life that’s happy

If the marriage state is kept alive and feeling snappy.

 

If you’re educated and have got a wad of cash,

The marriage bed is likely a sweet place in which to crash.

But if you are a pauper and do not have a degree,

Marriage is more likely to become pure misery.

 

 

Having said the obvious (for who could disagree?)

I have to add that marriage isn’t just romantic spree.

There’s drudgery and sorrow and a host of plaguy items

That fall under the heading of required ad infinitums.

 

Marriage is for heroes (though the romance is a perk)

And requires daily resolution not to ever shirk.

I do not give this wisdom as a novice, but of course!

For I am working happily now on my third divorce.

 

High Speed Internet . . . Big Deal.

High speed Internet connections are said to decrease stress;

Tho why a person can’t wait thirty seconds I can’t guess.

The Internet’s a marvel; that is something I’ll confess.

But seems to me we use it mostly just around to mess.

 

We look at clips on Youtube that are just a waste of time.

We get our news from websites that play up the sex & crime.

We tweet away the hours looking for a phrase sublime.

Our blogs are mostly jejune, like a fetid nurs’ry rhyme.

 

The fiber optic cable that we’re laying by the mile

Will bring to us more faulty facts in faster, sleeker style.

Perhaps the Cloud will save us from this everlasting bile

By blowing up and leaving not a single darn text file.

Song of my Ex.

When Jimmy Carter shelled his goobers in the White House manse,

I took to me a helpmeet with a dewy-eyed romance.

I shut out ev’ry rival and bore off my trophy bride

To the Salt Lake Temple where the merry Mormons hide.

 

We loved each other dearly, so it came as no surprise

When we welcomed many children like a pack of hot French fries.

We bought a home; I mowed the lawn; we shared both meals and books.

And then about the twelfth year in she gave me such wry looks.

 

A cancer ate away her love; her eyes were veiled and brooding.

I felt that imps had stole my heart, were smashing it and looting.

My love died long after hers had gone – long after the divorce.

I drank away my sorrow – as so many fools do, of course.

 

But now that I am single and completely sober too,

I look past shattered hopes and dreams and take the longer view.

There are no chains to hold our love; no cell with bars of steel,

That captures love when we’re convinced it isn’t true or real.

 

Love can die, but can it resurrect if God decrees?

The muse cannot give answer – it remains a mortal tease.

Ode to Marriage.

Ev’ry man who does succeed

On life’s great battlefield

Has a wife behind him

Who does prompt him not to yield.

 

She blazes forth with glory

When he feels like giving up.

She steels him to his purpose

When he shuns the bitter cup.

 

All she asks for in return

(so modest that it’s droll)

Is a little kindness

(and a mortgage on his soul).